This list is based on my experience.  They always say that lessons are learned from our mistakes.

• DON’T wear flats.
• DON’T have sex with a guy if he didn’t treat you to dinner &/or drinks.
• DON’T listen to your girlfriends.  Half the time they’re either jealous, insecure or bitter … esp. if their in a relationship.  They miss their freedom to do whatever & whom ever they wanted.
• DON’T mix shots with skirts.  Someones bound to see your vadge without your consent.
• DON’T date guys with a kid(s) (or at least really cute kids … date guy’s with ugly kids, it’s easier not to miss them)
• DON’T date the younger brother only after parting ways with the older brother a month (or maybe 2 months) earlier.
• DON’T date the help (i.e. bartdenders, bouncers, promoters, d.j.’s. They’re there for YOUR entertainment).
• DON’T avoid shaving your legs before a night out.
• DON’T forget to trim/cut your tampon strings when (and if) you wear a skirt out to a night of dancing.
• DON’T be afraid to date his friends.
• DON’T date musicians.
• ESPECIALLY DON’T date tattoo artist.
• DON’T walk into a room without an entourage, you’ll look boring if you’re by yourself .. and make sure who you’re with is uglier than you so you stand out
• DON’T drink amateur alcoholic drinks (i.e.: Vodka Crans, Long Islands, Cosmo’s …. be interesting and order a blue berry press once in a while)
• DON’T wear pink after the age of 16.
• DON’T drink beer when you go out with someone cute, it makes you gassy and remember: GIRLS DON’T FART.
• DON’T shave your bikini line … wax it!
• DON’T let your room get messy, you never know who is coming over or when?
• DON’T lie.  If you’re dating 3 guys at once let them all know.  You’d be surprised how they respect you after and even try harder to be the center of your attention.
• DON’T ever skip a day on taking the pill.  You don’t want to become anyone’s “baby mama”.
• DONT tease a “bump” into your hair.
• DON’T date a guy shorter than you in your 5 inch pumps.
• DON’T date a Persian.
• DON’T leave home without your toothbrush.
• DON’T wear door-knocker hoops.
• and most importantly DON’T FORGET TO USE YOUR SUMMERS EVE PRODUCTS!

I like smoking penis, preferably the clean and well groomed kind. 

PSA: don’t post naked pic’s of yourself on the Internet #girltalk (Taken with Instagram at iPhone)

This put a whole lot of inspiration in my life for the day.  I hope it does the same for you.

itsloveitsnotsantaclaus:

fuck?

